Evil Genius02:28 Jun 29 2008
Times Read: 788
So, it seems that my nemesis, the Thumbcat, has decided that trying to break into my house is not a task that it is willing to undertake alone anymore. I suspect that my new reflex of punching out hard when I hear any kind of noise from the window has been paying off. Cats being cats though, and trust me, the Thumbcat is an exceptional cat specimen, are not creatures that will easily admit defeat when it comes to their nefarious plans.
So, what has this fiendish feline come up with to thwart my fist of doom? Simple, it got itself a minion. Last night I had decided to open my window a little to let in some air while I read. I was having a great night, just me, my web comic backlogs and all the time in the world to waste. I felt the movement in the air that suggested a Thumbcat invasion, and barely looked up as I sent my fist of death towards the space the Thumbcat would ordinarily have been in. Except, this time there was no "Damn youuuu" miaow; this time there was a godalmighty eardrum shattering screech and a flurry of panicked feathers as I made contact.
I got up cautiously and drew back the curtain in time to see a huge black crow streaking off into the darkness. Well, when I say streaking, it was fast, but not necessarily in a straight line. Just underneath the window I thought I heard the slightest satisfied Mraowwwww sound as the invisible Thumbcat lost itself into the shadows.
I see how it is, it is clear to me now. This cat has a grudge and it will not be satisfied until one of us (meaning me) dies, and it will resort to whatever tactics are necessary to accomplish that goal. I was woken earlier by a scratch, scratch, scratching at my window. I knew I had closed it but I could not go back to sleep easily reassured. I had visions of the Thumbcat outside, stuck to the pane with sucker cup kneepads wielding a glass cutting tool.
After the bird, I know now that I am not safe. Any animal, mineral or vegetable out there that can succumb to cat terrorism is potentially a Thumbcat minion. If I do not write here again, you will know that something highly improbable may have happened, possibly involving a troupe of crazed cat ladies with hollowed out cat sized bibles coming to my door, asking me if I am interested in meeting Jesus in person in the next five minutes:(
Maybe it is time for me to take the fight to Thumbcat... Perhaps I should start working on a Trojan Tuna that I could fill with angry dogs. As Bugs Bunny so eloquently puts it, Thumbcat, this means WAR!
COMMENTS
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Ockham
02:08 Jun 30 2008
He'd have rebranded himself the Flying Emo and saved the city when he could be roused from his dark poetry sessions.
Irony
02:30 Jun 30 2008
Didn't they already cover that in spiderman 3? :P
Ockham
02:59 Jun 30 2008
Well, yeah. But even more so. Imagine Emo-Spidey with a My Chemical Romance tattoo.
CTyler
00:04 Jul 01 2008
In this case, I can picture Spiderman curled up and shuddering in a corner, scratching holes in his skin like a meth addict, repeatedly muttering "spiders.. spiders.."
I find that it is an image I enjoy.
It may have something to do with the scene in Spiderman3 where he poses in front of the american flag with cops, firemen and other good wholesome americans applauding below. *shudder* Leni Riefenstahl couldn't have done it better.